So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
