it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
