I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
