Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
