I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
