i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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