I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
