Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
how drunk are you?
Several
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
