someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
