watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
