I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
