I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
