Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
