capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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