Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
