I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
there is puke in my bra ... again
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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