1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
