They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Barsexuality is the new black.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
