i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
