I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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