i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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