so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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