Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
