In the future we'll all be gay
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
