Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
