I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
