I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
