no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
