Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
