Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
