You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
