glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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