i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
