I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
