i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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