you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
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