dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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