She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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