he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
