The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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