Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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