We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
