I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
