He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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