Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
