Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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