you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
