We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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