4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
