Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
