Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
