Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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