So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
